Afraid of changes? Career? Relationships? Health? Money? Housing? Retirement? Death & Dying? Can you trust your Inner Voice to guide you to the next chapter of your life? Are you willing to explore why changes terrify you? Want to learn how to turn your fear of change into profound meaning? Ready to embrace your true essence? I can teach you how to look at all of your options from different perspectives, help you plan and put your plans into action, freeing yourself from the doubts and fears that keep you from living your life with passion and purpose…
I use storytelling in my coaching work because as an improvisational ancient art form, the stories help me to connect with my clients on a deeper level. It assists the listener/reader to go back in time and remember his/her stories and honor the impact those stories have on shaping our realities. Exploring our thoughts and feelings by viewing our lives through many lenses connect us to images which gives us dominion over our inner sanctums, and allowing the shift in our realities to take on new meaning.
I was born to be a Transitionist. For some of us, we receive subtle messages throughout our lives as to what our life purpose is. As a highly sensitive person (HSP), I received messages from my Inner Voices as far back as early childhood and was led to the power of prayer and the knowledge of stillness by forces beyond my control. Connecting with Spirit is where my emotions found root and where the paradox of mystery surrounding Source brought me the greatest comfort and the deepest pain. When I was thirteen, my Inner Knowing, my unshakeable Faith, my Love for God was to be tested on a scale that would take years of therapy, coaching and personal growth work to heal. Leaving an indelible mark on my heart…and soul, this is my story.
My mother became gravely ill and after a long illness, she died two years later. My book, This is Not Goodbye… It’s Halo chronicles my thoughts and feelings around this painful chapter if you care to read the details. In a nutshell her transition became mine and the changes I went through…etched in my core brought me full circle to my life purpose and to the work I do today. A few months after she died, I was uprooted from my home, my family and friends, a lifetime of memories and sent to live with my grandparents 2,000 miles away.
Michael, Victoria and Peter, 1959 Memphis,
The fear of the unknown, the pain of leaving my two brothers and my father and the abuse I endured by my mother’s sister, who told me when I arrived at my grandparents house, “I wish you had died and not my sister” will be with me for as long as I live. This is the paradox of living a Spirit-filled life: Yin and Yang, Positive and Negative, Joy and Pain…
Transitioning from my grandparents home to a bad marriage was another painful chapter in my life. To empower ourselves, we must heal the areas within us that are scarred and lonely before advancing forward and making healthy choices. Our wisdom and deep healing comes from courageously making the changes necessary for transformation to take root. I had to connect to those lost parts of myself in order to create a safe haven for my two children and myself. Another major change…another opportunity for growth.
I packed up my children and moved to Malibu, California. A fresh start. Beaches to run and play on, starry nights and ocean breezes, we embraced the change with a sense of freedom that brought all three of us happiness and fulfillment. Some might think what I did was radical. Often, when we make changes, family and friends perceive this as radical but if we do them and feel empowered, then we know we did the right thing and that’s all that matters.
Victoria, Kevin & Candace, Christmas 1978 Malibu,
I’m not saying it will always be easy because there were moments, especially around finances, where I had to question my choices; but, for me there was no turning back.
I wrote, planted an organic garden and stayed close to home and family over the next few years. I became a student in A Course in Miracles and taught The Children’s Material (the children’s version of the Course) to my daughter’s classmates at the Montessori pre-school. After one of their favorite teachers died, the children wanted to explore Heaven. The subject of Life & Death to a group of pre-schoolers opened up a whole new awareness in me of how connected children are to the other side, angels and God. The wellspring of wisdom harbored in their hearts brought comfort to my aching heart, and, together, we wrote what was to be later known as This is Not Goodbye…It’s Halo.
While processing my own memories of the Unknown, I was summoned to help with the transition of a young girl dying of cancer. I’d like to tell you I embraced the opportunity to serve her, her family and God, but I wasn’t sure I was equipped to become a caregiver to a dying young girl who was not ready to die. However, when we become Seekers, we also become Knowers and we send messages out to the world that we can be counted on for tasks we may not feel we are worthy. Transitional empowerment coaching is about asking ourselves powerful questions that stem from our core beliefs and values. For me, I felt I had come full circle. I had lost my mother at fifteen and now I was being asked to caregive a fifteen-year-old girl dying of cancer.
As the days and weeks passed and her return to God nearer, I felt as though we were reversing roles, that she was my teacher and I, her student. Lola granted me one last visit before she made her final farewell. I sat in a chair, next to her bed and I watched her drift in and out of consciousness…I will never forget her eyes…filled with love and faith and promise. She whispered to me so softly I had to lean very close: “I am not here anymore, Victoria. I am with God and I am happy.” I sat back and closed my eyes and I heard a quiet stirring in the room. I slowly opened my eyes and there it was…a beam of light I knew well. It was that same light that led me out of my painful marriage a few years prior to moving to Malibu, a light so bright it took my breath away. I knew right then, at that very moment, I was in the Presence of an angel. To this day, a little pink doll sitting on a swing, that Lola’s mother gave me, hangs in my closet to remind me of Lola and her perfection.
Victoria, 1981 San Juan Bautista, California St.
Several months later I attended a five-day intensive with Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross in Northern California. It was a workshop on Life, Death & Transition and we were cloistered in a monastery. On the third day, Elisabeth (Kubler-Ross) approached me. We walked outside and sat on a tree stump. I promptly burst into tears. After what seemed like eternity, she asked me, “Why are you here?” I told her about Lola, the story I had written with the children about death and dying and my recent divorce.
Elisabeth took my hands and said, “Victoria, write a book, but not just for children, for the child within us all.” I did just that and when I had the finished the final manuscript I mailed Elisabeth a copy. My manuscript, I am told, was among many manuscripts people sent Elisabeth for her endorsements and when a fire ravaged through her home, mine was the only one left. So, you can imagine what her endorsement means to me.
As the years went on, the word transition took on a different meaning to me. I realized that we go through different types of transition all the time. We transition from one career to another, we transition in and out of relationships, we transition into retirement and we transition back to where we began. They can all feel, at times, a little like death…an end to something we know and a beginning into the unknown. This is how and why I have passion for the work I do today.
As one of 77 million baby boomers, my passion has extended to those of us searching for deeper meaning while we head into the land of retirement and financial security. For over twenty years, I have enjoyed selling real estate as my main source of income. My values around home and family have served me well, helping me build a strong base for being able to integrate change and transition and to empower us as we advance forward. In 2005, I felt the industry had changed and that the heart had gone out of it due to the reasons people were drawn to it. I developed a series of workshops I teach at the local college, for the Board of Realtors, to real estate companies and I coach individuals in The Heart of Real Estate.
As retirement creeps closer, I am now working with clients seeking options for this transition. It is very exciting to help people look at the whole picture and assist them in enriching their lives and to find their purpose at this stage. From financial planning to housing to traveling, to discovering new hobbies… a brand new chapter, like being re-born. A time to “be” and not “do.”
A friend once said, “Nothing is forever but change”….so, change it is and transition is the process of change. Let’s do it together….that’s what Transitional Empowerment Coaching is all about.
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